I was hoping that by “putting pen to paper” I could shake this inner chill and discomfort I’ve been dealing with.
There is not particular reason for being disheartened or dejected. God has blessed me in so many ways.
I have my health and strength. A good, crazy, loving family that energetically bounces around my miserable bubble. I have students who, to varying degrees, truly need me. I have a home, food, and basic needs. I want not.
Yet, even in my awareness, my mind is weary from the life I am living. My heart hurts and aches for my other half. My soul is waiting, tortured, until the time I can have a family of my own. My stomach turns at the lonesomeness I feel, lacking friends.
I imagined this to feel a little more cathartic than it does in actuality. Another disappointment.